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Serendipity

I don’t know what is it about the past few days but I seem to be addicted to RomComs and SitComs. And yes… you may call me a soppy git, it is probably the best way to describe me anyway.

I’ve spent the past week binge-watching the romantic soppy mess that is the series “How I Met Your Mother”. I’ve laughed and even cried a bit at all the situations that happen as the plot develops and thickens.

I was talking to someone about it… Actually… No… I’ve spoken to a couple people about it… Had a few laughs and compared favorite characters… And it was during one of those chats I came to one hell of a sudden realization…

I am Ted Mosby! 

Who’s Ted Mosby you ask? Well… He is the main character on the series in question. If you don’t know him already, I’d like to introduce you to a little game I like to call:

Haaaaaaaave you met Ted? <- Insider’s joke 😉

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Well, Ted is prone to questionable romantic gestures; in the pilot episode, for example, he steals a blue French horn (nicknamed “The Smurf Penis”) that was a topic of conversation in his first date with Robin (the love of his life), and then scares Robin off by telling her he is in love with her in their first date…

The whole series revolves around Ted’s attempts to find the love of his life and how in between one disastrous attempt after the other the universe conspires to introduce him to The Girl With The Yellow Umbrella. He tells the story to his kids in a bid to… hummmm know what? Watch the series! I won’t spoil it to you. :)

 

Where was I going with that?! Ah!!! Yeah! I am Ted Mosby!

I’m the guy that sees the love of his life in every turn and every try. The guy that will always jump with both feet and wears his heart in his sleeves. The one what will go down with the ship if there is half a chance that it work out in the end… That guy that believes in profound, spontaneous acts showing how I feel. I’m the hopeless romantic (with a slightly dirty mind) that needs to believe that love is not dead.

I’m the guy that told his ex wife they would get married in their first date. I’m the guy that dropped everything to start again in a new life. I’m the one that was ready to move across the ocean for the girl that stole hist heart.

The past year or so must have been one of the most complicated ones in my life in that area with all the plot twists and turns I’ve been through… And that is saying something I guess… I believe they would probably actually make Ted himself proud.

Love shouldn’t be so complicated, should it? Then again… If it weren’t, would it even be a worthy pursuit?

2015 is over, and whilst parts of it replay once and again in my mind right now, I am looking forward to what 2016 has to bring.

I am looking forward and wishing for serendipity to touch my life…

And maybe, just maybe… I’ll bump into my own girl with the yellow Umbrella… Or the Robin that returns to my life…

The morning star, bringing a 100 colors to this grey shaded heart of mine.

Serendipity…  luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for…

Maybe… just maybe…  😉


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I Solemnly Sweat I’m Up to No Good

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I think things deserve a bit of an Update right now… Mainly because  I feel like if I don’t get it all out I might go a little nuts. Between work, finding a new place to live and my always eventful do called “love life” I am sure I will heave a heart attack at some point.

I’m sorry if this post is a little cryptic… but it kinda needs to be right now. As grandma would say, for those who listen, half a word is plenty.

where do we start then?

I think today’s developments deserve a spotlight… So that’s where I’ll start:

It was dark and cold outside, and as we sat in that coffee shop sipping on a hot chocolate all I could think is how warm and at home I felt looking into her eyes… Even when embarrassed, she refused to meet my gaze half the time… I thought it was too darn cute to be honest… I thought a few times just how much I wanted to just say “fuck it!” and kiss her stubborn little face… Find out where the rabbit hole leads…

But life is never easy like that, is it? I knew that when we said au revoir as the train departed the station…

I know what she wants… She took her time explaining what she needs…

I took a deep breath… And like the good boy (ish) that I am (some times), I accepted the terms or engagement.

The cards are on the table… The hands have been dealt and the game has high stakes… Patience is key… Keeping up my poker face is nearly impossible tho… My eyes give it all away… they always have… I think they always will… I’m so not a poker player for goodness sake!

My heart sings… “Don’t worry about a thing…’cuz everything little thing, is gonna be alright…”

My brain SCREAMS… “DUUUUUDE…” and makes all the bells and klaxon noises trying to muffle what heart sings.

I am not going to lie… I want her in my life… There is no question about that… No doubt: of course I will say yes…

The game is on… And we will be playing by her rules I guess…

In life we play what cards we are dealt…

But I have a few aces up my sleeves…

And I solemnly swear I am up to no good… 😉

 

Hasta La Vista,


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The Wheels on the Bus…

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Go round and round… round and round…. round and round… AAAAAALL DAY LONG!

I can’t take this song from my head…  It just… stays there, no matter what I try to replace it too.

Think it might actually have something to do with the way I am feeling right now too… You know that thing you do at the end of each year, where you analyze how was your previous year and see where you stand right now… And compare if you’ve moved forwards or backwards?

I woke up with this in my mind today…

2015 has been a heck of a ride… In every single aspect of my life…

Last year at this time of the year I was in Brasilia. Thinking of how funny that my life moves in cycles and one way or another those cycles always end and start there, Where I was born… A city that hasn’t been “home” to me in a few years… And yet… Every time I am there and breathe in the thick air into my lungs I can’t help myself: I’m home.

This year, as I look back I can see all the changes straight away. I am most definitely where i started this year.

“A rolling stone gathers no moss…”

I’m not sure I can say I’m still not rolling though. My life is in constant flux… Constant change… And more than enough times things happen at the same time. More than enough time two elements fight to take a vacant place, and as it stands right now, I don’t know how to choose between them.

I am most definitely not in the same place I was when this year began tho…

I thought I’d be happy for 2015 to be over. It has been a bumpy ride! Loads of hurt… Friendships made and lost. New people slotting into my life, while some have left with no hope of coming back.

I haven’t quite fixated the roots I wanted to, but at least I know where is home for now. There is no moss as I am still a rolling stone… But one that is starting to find where is the ground underneath… And maybe, just maybe there will be less rolling in the year that starts in less than a month.

I’m still fighting… And in more instances than I would like, still waiting.

I gotta say tho… Some things… Some people… Are more than worth the wait.

And what ever it is that is coming in the wake of 2016, I know I’ll be strong enough to take head on, thanks to 2015.

A few more days till this year is over… A few more days for stones to roll… A few more days for things to get into their right places… a few more days to make this year count.

Life is SO REPETITIVE… Bit it is our duty to make it FUN!

Hasta la vista!

 


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And where do we go from here?

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Been a few busy days… If not workwise, or anything to do with the monkeys then it’s been busy in my mind.

There is so much going on that I wouldn’t have an idea where to start from if I were to tell you all right now…

I have so many unanswered questions… And the more I try to find solution for them the more questions they create…

The one question burning the most is What’s stopping me?

It has been there for a while, and living so close to the airport ain’t helping… I keep getting this urge to pack a bag and go! I’m not sure where, to be honest… just… GO!

And you may call it running away from my life as much as you want… it is true… That’s exactly what I’d be running away from… I feel like I am spiraling out of control… I need an anchor, a beacon shinning from the safety of shore to remind me that I need to call home… and none of the constants in my life right now are strong enough to be one… I know that sounds harsh… but is true…

And I’ve been “adrift” for so long now that the closer something feels to become this, anchor the more it scares me.

I need to move away from here… Both this flat and the place I currently occupy in my mind…

I want more… I need more… I long to BE more…

I feel like I’ve been in the same place for far too long and I need to get somewhere… Evolution… I mean… If not for making it – life – better, then what is the point in even living?

I’ve been second-guessing decisions for long enough… I’ve not been playing my strengths, because lets face it, I’ve been afraid of falling again…

Think is time to re-consolidate and get this show on the road…

Gosh, I’d forgotten just how blogging for myself helped in my decision making process… :)

Where do we go from here? I’m not completely sure… but I think I have a little bit of an idea where to aim to now.

2016 is just around the corner.. And there is no fate but what we make… 😉

 

Hasta La Vista.

 

 

 


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What’s Stopping you?

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I woke up missing the road less traveled… I’ve been feeling like that a lot over the past few days…

I wan to get up, pack a bag and run away!

I want to disappear…

I want to get lost and find myself in places I’ve never been. I want to get away from this crazy thing they call life… The rules I don’t understand and the madness that makes no sense.

The guy in the mirror asked me “what’s stopping you?”

I stared back at him and, to be honest, I didn’t know what to say. There is nothing stopping me but myself.

No… That’s a lie… It has to be, right?!?!?

And then I tried to look at all the things that might be keeping me anchored…

They look like a bunch of excuses! What am I waiting for? What’s REALLY keeping me here?

I’ve asked myself this exact same question once before… This prompted me to become a wanderer, a nomad for a whole year. It introduced me to some amazing people, all with their own unique traits and things I’ve learned from them in their own way. It opened windows and doors to experiences I’d never think of otherwise.

It gave me ideas, and woke me up to a whole sub-culture that I never thought could be such a great thing…

And for a time it was awesome… Come to think of it… The only reason even tried to find my roots again was Nat… I think I’d be happy still be living off a rucksack, waking up in different places… surrounded by different people… Immersed in different lives… Different stories…

I write this sat in my room… The enormous space only for myself feeling so empty…

The one thing I’d change in the whole experience, is the fact that I didn’t have anyone to share the moments with…

I feel like I found this companion in Blue… Someone that might be about as mad as I am, and that could probably crave the adventure as much as I do… The prospect excites me and scares me at the same level… We’ve been talking about this and the feeling I get is that she asks that same exact question herself… “What’s stopping me?”

I don’t know if she has the answer either…

Life feels like it suspended in mid-air right now… Delicate… And I don’t know if it will crash or it will fly.

Life is weird… And it feels so much simpler in the road less traveled…. “What’s stopping me?”

Hasta La Vista…


next page

Serendipity

I don’t know what is it about the past few days but I seem to be addicted...
article post

I Solemnly Sweat I’m Up to No Good

I think things deserve a bit of an Update right now… Mainly because  I feel like...
article post

The Wheels on the Bus…

Go round and round… round and round…. round and round… AAAAAALL DAY...
article post

And where do we go from here?

Been a few busy days… If not workwise, or anything to do with the monkeys then...
article post

What’s Stopping you?

I woke up missing the road less traveled… I’ve been feeling like that a lot...
article post