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The one about the pussy cat that thinks he is a bear.

I was just going to let it rest and let it die…  But after having something read to me first thing this morning I kinda feel I just have to say another couple of words before putting the subject to rest…

You see…  There’s two sides to every coin. No one single piece of history (or lore as this turns out to be) holds the absolute truth. And it holds even less when it comes from the deranged mind of an unbalanced and overly paranoid individual that acts like a child in a tantrum trowing his dummy out of his cot when he can’t have what he wants…    And guess what? Wanna play the victim card?  Be my guest… Won’t be the first time and we all know it won’t be the last… It is the card a person with weak personality plays… I think one sentence of that text says it all…

Sat in your car with a knife in your hand about to drive to us thinking “I want to kill him. Hell, both of them”
Thinking “I wanted to punch him and not stop”?

Laying a claim on something you,  quite frankly,  never had – very much like the courage to face the people you slag hiding behind screens – and blaming your actions on your “poor mental health” which,  come on,  is no excuse is it?  Wanna talk issues? I got plenty to talk about,  is how you DECIDE to act upon them that makes the difference.

Every coin has two faces… This one is no different: in one side I see a weak bastard with an inferiority complex that blames the whole world for his woes…  In the other there’s my hand… With a middle finger raised to all the stink caused by all the bullshit around it.

*picks up the mic and throws it in the toilet*

Peace out!


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Learning with My Kids

Living and learning they saw… I couldn’t agree more…

I learn a little bit every day with my sons. And they are invaluable lessons in every subject you can think or imagine.

My latest lesson learned with the Little One for example is that the more you do something that scares you the more you learn to enjoy it… To a poing where it becomes second nature… It’s weird how the brain works isn’t it? Same day I took this photo I spend a good half an hour trying to convince him to go down and toddler’s slide… the he saw the multi coloured one (which was quite a few times bigger than the one I was trying to convince him to go down on a) and I could see the little light in his eyes as my step-dad picked him up and slid with him from the top… his heart was racing so much when he got to the bottom… bit he had that incredible giggle face of his looked at him and said “AGAIN!”

We took turns going back up the slide and going down with him. Even the Big Birthday Monkey left his friends aside a little while to join the fun a few times. Then his mum had a brilliant idea: To sit him beside her and tell him to go… He didn’t think twice, wriggled his bum and went! And that was the beginning of at least another 20 solo slides… And me going up and down with him… just to make sure…

Not too long ago the Little Monkey was stumbling around learning how to walk (and he still spends quite a lot of his time on the floor from one bump to the next… lol…) and now he is full time daredevil little me.

And what do I learn with that? Simple… Scary things can become incredibly fun once you learn to enjoy them… Do something that scare you a few times and eventually it will stop being so scary… There are LOADS of things I could do with a little push down the proverbial slide… Both in my personal and professional life…

*wriggles bum and inches forward*…

Life is a scary place… But if we don’t say YES and lt go sometimes we’ll never know how it was to have lived through it instead of surviving through it… So… well… say yes more often… What’s the worst that can happen?!?!?

*pushes forward and slides down the big slide*

Carpe Diem!


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When in Doubt…

Just Do it!!!

I know this is not the sort of advice your parents would give you in most situations…

Hell… It is certain not the sort of advice I’d give my children in most situations.

I don’t know if this is good or bad though… We drill our children with so many NOs on their infancy that is not a mystery WHY the future looks so bleak and pessimist… negative…

Fact is that when life comes to the unavoidable end and we look back at all the things we did – and didn’t – we will regret a lot more the ones we didn’t do than the ones we did…FACT.

A VERY wise person told me that once… and one day I’ve decided to apply that one directive in my life… Fact is that as long as I did great and interesting things happened in my life… And they stopped happening when I stopped taking chances…

Fact is that life will always throw things at you… It makes no sense denying that… Change is the one constant thing you can count in life… You either accept that, or let “destiny” wash you ashore when you should be sailing the ocean of life…

Lol… that sounded deeper than I intended… but it is true. I refuse to believe that EVERY SINGLE THING that happens to you happens as a coincidence. I’ve been around the block long enough to realize that there is a pattern… A purpose on anything that happens to you… And the moment we take a chance 2 things can happen: It can go right… and you will therefore you will enjoy the results or it can go wrong… and you will have learned a lesson. Now… The lesson I am on about here is not “give up”… Au contrair… is “learn what you did wrong… try it differently”.

Never doubt yourself… Why? Doubting is like giving one step backwards to every 2 other steps you give forwards… By all means… have a plan… a project… But be ready that it will not be plain sailing as you had planned it to be. Adapt!  Fact is… If you don’t have a go… you will never know…

I’ve had a lot of time to think about “what if”s over the last year or so… I could have done this or that… I SHOULD have done this or that… looking back everything looks so clear… But the fact is that this train of thought didn’t take me anywhere. I can’t change the past… Only thing I can change is today… Tomorrow is a result of that… and tomorrow will bring new challenges… they can be harder or easier… but you live and you learn.

I’ve decided to say YES!!!!

I refuse to not live what life brings to me… I said it once… and I will say it again… In the end… you will regret more the things you didn’t get to do because you were afraid of what COULD happen than the ones you did do…

Go to a nude beach because you can! Take on painting, or photography! Go for a walk in the park because it is a sunny day! Spend an extra hour playing with your children (they won’t be children for much longer, you know that?)! SING! Even if it is just on the shower and what the hell… if you feel adventurous go to a karaoke bar! I’ll go with you and sing too if it encourages you! RUN! even if it is just for 2 minutes because you are so out of breath… BREATHE!!!!! Then keep going!!!

There is more to life than living your day-to-day because you had to and then stop and think: What if…

Take a chance… What’s the worse that could happen?

 


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Hyperactive… Or the art of living with ADHD…

I was chatting to someone on Skype last night and we fell on a subject that I don’t really speak much… mainly because it is so hard to explain if you’ve never been through is: Living with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) .

I got to hear something rare as well… The account from someone that lived with someone with ADHD (her ex husband suffered with it)… And as we spoke and she told me how impossible it was I kinda started to realize how bad I am.

Last night I couldn’t sleep so I started dealing with invoices and forms that I needed to fill up and send back (my bed was covered with them), and was scanning documents to send to a PR agency, and was having 3 unrelated conversations on skype, twitter and MSN as well as having a half written media pack open on corel and 6 tabs on the other monitor as twitter rolled on my main account in the other monitor and music played in my laptop where I had a half written blog post I never seem to be able to finish…

She told me her ex husband described it once as being like a TV with the remote control constantly set on browse… at the end of the day he would get home and collapse with tiredness… Well that and ADHD is often accompanied by other disorders like Depression and BPD.

Sometimes for me is like having a crowd talking in my head, all of them speaking at the same time about different things… It can be exhausting… Incredibly frustrating… But I think he has it worse than I do… I was 18 when I was diagnosed. I can’t say I have it totally nailed just yet… but I’ve learned to live with it, and to a certain point to control it… most of the time.

It’s not all bad tho, people that suffers from ADHD usually have very elevated IQ/Multiple Intelligence Coefficients… And if you learn how to channel all the ‘voices in our head’ and teach them to talk to each other instead of over each other and about different subjects you can be incredibly good at what you do…

Mozart, Richard Bransom, Malcolm Forbes, Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Christopher Columbus, Robin Williams, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, Albert Einstein… What did they all have in common? You have one guess..

Creativity and innovation are hallmarks of people with ADHD. For example, if Edison didn’t have ADHD, we might be reading by brighter candle light. So there definitely is a silver lining here…

I know it’s not easy… but there are a few things you can do if you find that you, or your kid, partner or a friend has ADHD:

First of them TALK to someone… try and explain how you feel… what you feel… If you think you might suffer from it talk to your GP and try to get tested for it. If you do, having an ADHD Coach is a good start (Bear in mind that some traditional methods of coaching might not work as true ADHD is usually neurological)

Second, STOP denigrating yourself, and start celebrating yourself. ADHD is inherited and you don’t have a choice over your genetics. “will power” alone has little chance against genetics so you might as well be happy about that. Creativity, “out-of-the-box” thinking, and intuition are also a genetic traits frequently linked to ADHD. Learn more about your unique positive traits, and learn to focus on harnessing and leveraging your unique creativity and positive points.

Third, Educate yourself, There are many good ADHD books, websites and support groups out there. For example, “Driven to Distraction,” “The Davinci Nation Method” and “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?” are a few awesome books you can read. Also, CHADD.org has a list of support groups, self-help tips and resources.

Help yourself or your kid/partner/friend with ADHD accept that they have a need for stimulation. This need fuels their creativity and allows them to be highly effective in high-risk/stress situations. Select activities where the ADHD trait can have a positive impact on your agenda.

Also… A nutritionist specializing in ADHD (check out the people from the Mind Lab Pro Review) can also help you eliminate other foods you may be sensitive to from your diets, and recommend specific nutrient supplements… Bear that in mind… you are what you eat. :-)

And at least but not last… HAVE FUN!!!!! Travel, workout, find a hobby that will harness your attention… this is how I got started in photography… Remember that because you have a mental health problem it doesn’t mean that your life is over… there are many more pros than cons and there is NOTHING stopping you from living life in full!

Meditation, Running, Swimming, focus exercises… it all helps too… when you actually do it… you see… I stopped running in 2003… went from doing it every morning to full stop within weeks… I haven’t been swimming for a while… Focus exercises and meditation… well… I haven’t had time for it lately… so… when I find myself awake at 4AM staring at 2 computer screens, with a laptop on my lap and paperwork scattered over my bed I think I know something needs to be done… right?!

Oh gosh… look at the size of this post!!!! lol

I hope it helps… It definitely helped ME to realize I have a lot to do… :-)

Carpe Diem!


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Living Up to Expectations…

I have a confession to make… I am 31 years old and I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up…

No, wait… that’s not right… I do know… And I know I can do it… I have all the sets of skills… and the knowhow to make it happen… I am good at it… Or so I’ve been told… quite a few times actually… And I quite often get paid to do it so that should be more than enough proof of that, right? RIGHT???

I am usually my biggest critic… So save from very few people, critics come not just easy on me, but are often encouraged… I believe in improving… Always.

But for some reason that I can’t fathom, the opinions of me and what I do carry a huge weight on me when they come from this very small group of people that comprises of my family and a few other VIP in my life. Their encouragement is usually all I need to climb the highest of mountains… And it usually works for a while… Until I figure that what I am doing I am doing for all the wrong reasons…

Sounds bad… but is the truth… I was talking about that to a friend today  and she is the one that called my attention to that… that made me think about it and as much as I hate to admit it my track record really shows that I am always trying to please others and up abandoning things that are important to me, forgetting about what I LOVE and what I am GOOD AT to meet with someone else’s expectations…  something that I can only bring myself to do for so long… Which is where I tend to jump into another train in search for myself.

My whole career has been like that… My whole life…

Does it make any sense?!?!?!!?  No??? Yeah… I didn’t think so either…

My sister was mad at me earlier today because she says she wishes I had de ease to grasp things like I do and I instead waste the chances just like that… She went on ranting with my mother on how I was accepted in X amount of universities and dropped out of Y number of courses and how I waste  my potential in doing things that are beneath my capacity and how I should do this or that which then fuelled my mother’s rage at an argument we had today about me going back to studying and me opposing to it because I have other priorities and have no time or place of mind to going back to it… Yeah… things were kinda ugly, specially when I decided there was no point on hearing to any of it anymore…

Doesn’t what I consider a priority for me right now make any sort of difference?

The fact is that sometimes is hell in my head… I have ideas and random thoughts flowing in my head all the time… And I have a hard time coping with those most of the time, let alone trying to accomodate everyone else’s thoughts of what and how I should be doing things… I’ve tried that… it doesn’t work… Plus I am stubborn…

Doing “the right thing” isn’t always right…

I know they mean it with all the good intentions and that they really want to help… Most of the ideas and suggestions are good in principle… but they distract me from what I need to focus on… And believe me… distracting me is not that hard a thing… I think it is time I focus on doing MY THING without having to accomodate all other ideas into it as well… I’ve tried that… it doesn’t work… If I don’t have my heart on something it will eventually lose my interest…

I need to try to do my thing without adding up to it to satisfy other people… Just this once…

And if that means I need to learn to say NO every now and then then so be it… I am awful at saying no… But is time to stop feeling stuck in the middle…

Things aren’t rally going RIGHT so far… so I thing I’ll try and go LEFT. 

Let you know how THAT goes as it goes… 😉

EDIT: A valid point was raised… if any of my sons ever decided to drop out of uni to pursue his dream/follow the path he thinks he needs to follow if I’d support and encourage him… well… I didn’t have to think about that much… yeah… I would!!!! And if that didn’t work for him I’d be there for him… I try to raise them to think for themselves… what sort of example would I give if I tried to stir their lives for them?!?!? Sure, until they are old enough to take their own decisions I am more than happy to stir the boat… but even I know when to let go and let them swim on their own… this is life… we raise our kids for the world… not for ourselves! Rant Over


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10 Things (or more) to do Before I Die

The other day I was driving home and listening to one of my mum’s CDs (it was on the CD player and the radio was boring) and one of the songs in that CD kinda made me cry… the name of the song is Live Like you were Dying by  Tim McGraw… It was a good cry tho… The sort that makes you think “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!?!?!” sort of cry…

Made me realise I have 2 alternatives: Either wake up and leave the whole depression business behind and get on with it… there is still too much to be done and those things won’t do themselves (yeah… I know… it is harder said than done…) or put a bullet in me head and end up my misery (hard to do as well as you can’t really buy guns in the UK can you????).

Well… As you can say I have chosen the 1st alternative and I have decided to embrace it with all that’s in it, the good the bad and the ugly… And I have a plan…

This plan has a few steps… and one of them was to elaborate a list of things to do before I die… I started ambitious and my first number was of 100 tasks and got straight into google to get myself an idea of how to populate that list… Well… it seems to me that this would be harder than I thought… and the main reason of my difficulty in that is… well…

I’ve done most things on the lists I found on google:

I have sky dived, I have crossed a country in a bike (okay… maybe not crossed, but have you seen how long the BR101 in Brazil is? is kinda like crossing the UK), I have gone mountain Climbing and have abseiled down a 50mt waterfall (and down one of the sides of the Twickenham Stadium), I got married (and am getting divorced) and have 3 beautiful children… I have been a Stay at Home Dad.  I have been successful in my profession and have worked for myself after that, I’ve lived in New York and lived in a beach town… I’ve surfed and ridden a motorbike. I have travelled and lived abroad… I have spent time in a shanty town aiding  in the community, I’ve gone bungee-jumping. I’ve climbed an active volcano and camped on top of the Andes under snow… I’ve gone scuba-diving AND snorkeling. I have had classes on piloting a small airplane, I have driven a Ferrari, a Mustang, a Camaro a Montecarlo and have street raced a tuned car. I have Photographed amazingly hot women wearing nothing or next to nothing and been paid to do it… Oh… yeah… I took up on photography… I’ve had photos published in magazines and newspapers in 3 countries… I’ve been on TV, I’ve had a newspaper column and I was part of a band and we have performed to a full audience… I have danced a tango in Argentina. I have competed in Adventure Races… I have shot a gun (1st class sharp shooter me…). I speak 3 languages fluently… I have participated of a public protest more than once… and almost been arrested for it once. (even took a can of Tear Gas in my head once)… I have kissed in the rain and I have been to a nudist beach (colony even… was fun!)… And that is just the stuff that crossed my mind now and not adding the naughty ones… *blushes*

Yeah… I’ve been quite busy ove the past 31 years huh?!?!

Now you see my predicament?!?!?! For me to have a list of things to do before I die that will actually challenge e the stuff in it will have to be bloody BIG! But at the same time realistic…

Only thing is I need ideas… And that, my beloved reders, is where you come in in the plan (well one of the ways). So far what I have is:

1 – Write and publish a book

2 – Expose my Photos in a gallery (or similar)

3- Leave a legacy for my children

4 – Put my feet in every continent in this world (Done North and South America and Europe… only Asia, Africa and Australia to go… (think Antarctic is doable?!?!!?)

5 –  Throw a big party for twitter friends… but not just any party… THE PARTY (ummmm… that gives me an idea…) Would you come?!?!?!?!? 😉

Yeah…. I know it’s not a lot… but that’s what I have in mind at this precise moment… the list will grow… and there are 5 more items to add to it…. so well… I would like to count on ya to help me fill up the spots on the next few days and when I have all the positions filled up I’ll start working to cross one by one (in no particular order) and I will be blogging every step of the way…

THAT is my challenge… yours is to find me 5 more things that I HAVE to do before I die… More if I think is well worth it… You can leave it in a comment, email, SMS, call me… whatever way you want… just give me ideas and let me know why you think I should do it?!?!

Looking forward for that one… :-)


next page

The one about the pussy cat that thinks he is a bear.

I was just going to let it rest and let it die…  But after having something...
article post

Learning with My Kids

Living and learning they saw… I couldn’t agree more… I learn a little...
article post

When in Doubt…

Just Do it!!! I know this is not the sort of advice your parents would give you in most...
article post

Hyperactive… Or the art of living with ADHD…

I was chatting to someone on Skype last night and we fell on a subject that I...
article post

Living Up to Expectations…

I have a confession to make… I am 31 years old and I still have no idea what I want...
article post

10 Things (or more) to do Before I Die

The other day I was driving home and listening to one of my mum’s CDs (it was on...
article post