I was here thinking…
There are too many photos of you twitter girls in a bath these days… Actually… No… No such thing as too many photos of gorgeous women in baths with glasses of wine… Silly me… Keep them coming and all…
But in homage to you all gorgeous women of the internet… Here goes a man version…
Like my duck???
I think I need another beer…
The one where I bite the bullet and join #sexysaturday
The One About Sex Texting
Yesterday there was a whole banter about a program aired on Chanel 4 called My Phone Sex Secrets I didn’t really bother watching it as it was on… but there were so many people talking and giggling about it that I felt left out and decided I HAD to watch the thing and see what the banter was all about…
Needless to say I did have a good laugh watching it too… and of course discussing (aka laughing) over it with my beloved twitter friends making it specially funny because I know of a couple of people that actually do it for a living or to increase their earnings on their free time… or just for the heck of it.
What? I know all sorts of people ya know?!!?!? Don’t Judge me!!!!! ;-P (lol)
Fact is that you would be surprised as to who does it even in our tightly close UK Blogger Community!!! Yes… the person sitting next to you on the next twitup might even do it! And so what??? I think it’s awesome!! It is fun and it definitely shakes up and turns the heat on in any relationship… believe me… I know! *sniggers*
Chatting and bantering about with a couple of people yesterday on Skype, DMs on twitter and SMS I was surprised that everyone I spoke to last night that saw the show actually seriously considered doing it and thought they could do better than the women in the program… One went as far as looking into how much she could do trying to put a case to tell her husband she’d do it… Hell… Even I considered it… and tell you what?! I bet it would be fun! lol! And being paid to have fun… heck yes! lol!
You all know I am shameless… But am I shameless enough?!?!?!?!!?
Would you???????? Comments… GO!
One for the Useless Cupids Amongst Us
|We’ve all been there – 4pm on the 13th Feb, a hot date lined up for the Valentine night and PANIC! Nothing to wear and no gift bought for your loved one… Well… I have been there… What’s with leaving things for the last minute, right?!?!?Actually… I think this is the only positive thing about being single in February… not having to worry about Valentine’s Day…Of course, no one is as “lucky” *cries a bit* as I am… So here I am with a little cheat for all of you useless cupids like me: This year, Next comes to the rescue by playing Cupid’s assistant with their Valentine’s Gift and Outfit Selector.
And the good news for the less organised amongst us… you can order before 9pm for Next Day Delivery service. If you still need more choice, you can see a further selection of dresses and shoes to make the perfect Valentine’s outfit on Next.co.uk
They do all the hard work so you can play it cool and get the cookie points for being a Good Valentine… Next did their part… now you go on and do yours…
Have fun! But don’t do anything I wouldn’t, kiddo (I know that’s not a lot… but hey)!
The Birds, The Bees and The Bow Cheeky Bow Wow
So… you know that dreaded moment in the life of a parent when he/she has to have that little chat with the kiddo and explain certain truths of life… Little things like “if kids come from mum’s belly how did they GET in there?”… For THAT I would be prepared… hell… I even had the discurse rehearsed in my head (I wanna be a cool daddy… so I decided I would never lie to the kiddos in things ) but NOTHING could have prepared me for what happened…
You see… The Big Monkey is quite internet savvy… So I have blocked access to a variety of websites from the one computer he has full access to while he is with me. So when he went to one of his usual sites to play online games/watch zombie animations (yeah… he likes zombies right now…) I didn’t pay much attention and went to the kitchen to get biscuits with Little Monkey leaving him to his own devices.
When I came back I noticed him laughing to what looked like a Ben 10 Character so I went to see what he was laughing about… My heart skipped a beat, my jaw fell and I was speechless for what seemed like an eternity (it was about 5 seconds… but still…) He was watching Ben 10 indeed… but the girlie was fighting a monster with 3 snake like cocks and they were… well… I don’t really need to describe the whole scene, do I?
The monkey had accidentally discovered Hentai… And he thought it was funny… Erm…
After telling him to close it (I think he kinda noticed the urgency of it when I told him because he looked kinda startled… and he shut the whole window… he never does that… he usually shuts only tabs…) I texted his mum asking her if she wanted me to wait til I delivered him tomorrow so we could all sit and have a chat or if I should just go agead and do the talk of the birds and the bees myself… Her answer was simple : You said you’d do the talks!! See, if we’d had girls instead…”
Yeah… Not a lot of help… But hey… I gave my word… I’d do the boy talks… she’d do girl talks (Shame we only had boys really… damn…).
Now… it is kinda hard to know how to start the Birds and Bees chat if no one ever had it with you… Yeah… I’ve learned with books and chats to friends… AND the World Wide Web (which was a lot smaller when I was 15). So… we had our little chat… was a lot les awkward than I thought it would be… Guess it pays to simply being open and not bullshit around with metaphors etc… Mind you… not THAT open… There is still time for that and let the child be a child, right?!!?!? I think I’ve covered the basics… I’m sure I had told him most of it before anyway (Monkey is too damn curious!!!) And I have answered most of the questions he had…and promised to answer SOME of the other ones when he is older… Then we went on to play “Fight for the Ball” Our own little version of rugby… but prison rules apply… Nothing like a little of rough and tumble to take yer mind out of awkward things, right?!
Quick question… Have you ever thought on how you will do it when yo HAVE to do it? And if you have already had that chat… how was it?!?!? I’d REALLY love to know to be honest… just to make sure I didn’t make too much of a fool out of myself… LOL!
Okay… I think I’ve rambled enough for today… just got one more thing to pick on… WHO THE HELL INVENTED THE TERM BIRDS & THE BEES?!?!?! I mean… lets analyse that… Does it make any sense?!?!? Is like, you are using a metaphor trying to not give too much info to your kid… and at the same time you are telling your child that is OK to have loads of sexual partners… I mean… is that what birds and bees have in common isn’t it?!?! The “visit loads of flowers and polinize each of them”… Bit of a conundrum, no?!?!?!
I vote for changing the name of the term from “The Birds & The Bees” for “Bow Cheeky Bow Wow”…
Who’s with me?!?!?!
They say the mind is the most erogenous part of the human body… I guess that might be right… but it does get quite easy on your imagination when you have a Mrs TeePot in a black corset in front of you.
I’ve uploaded a few of the photos we took last week to the UrbanVox HQ Facebook page Feel free to check them out there.